The Emasculation Of Men In Modern Western Society
Down through history, cultures have had initiation processes that boys have had to pass to become men. Whether it be in First Nations Tribal life where a boy would spend a night by himself in the wilderness, or in some African cultures where there is bodily tattooing/and or piercing. To either extent, a boy knows when he is a man, and can thus rearrange his worldview accordingly and start to live up to society's expectations of him. However, it is my opinion that this is untrue in Westernized Society. In the homogeneous, 'anything goes', embrace-all-views-society that we have cultured, we have sadly forgotten to create a culture. In this vacuum, generations of children have grown into adulthood with no real knowledge of when they have crossed that line. Along with their lack of indoctrination into the adult world, men have also lost the definition of what it means to be a man. Feminists have diluted and disparaged masculinity, media has undermined it and men have lost the ability to teach it to each other. While some say that this is not a loss of masculine traits and characteristics, but rather a leveling of the sexes, I disagree wholeheartedly for reasons that shall be revealed in my second last paragraph.
Feminism arose in the 1960’s for good reason. Inequality was rampant, and women were being under-represented on every platform and being automatically designated into stereotypical roles of homemaker, nurse or secretary. Even when they did make it into the work world, sexual harassment was rampant and unreported. Feminism was an attempt to stop this and bring light to a bleak situation. However, in their battle to establish themselves as equal, Feminists have taken the war too far and knocked masculinity down to a laughable level. Where there was once a stereotype in the culture of men who loved their families and worked 9-to-5 jobs to provide for them, this idea has been killed. Nowadays when someone says ‘man’ the first thing to jump into my mind is not a levelheaded compassionate father, but rather a lumber-headed compassionless failure. It is my belief that in the heat of the battle, Feminists enacted a smear campaign against an entire gender that has yet to be cleaned up.
This is evidenced in the media. Think back to the last commercial you saw. If there is a family, the man is not intelligent. He does not know how to flush a toilet. He is completely incompetent. His children do not respect him, his wife lords over him, and yet this is seen as normal. Think of the last movie you saw. When was the last time we as a society have seen a damsel in distress be rescued by her knight in shining armor? It is my observation that this role has been completely shifted. No longer do men come to the aid of women, but rather, women to the aide of men. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it does seem rather lop-sided for one gender to constantly be saving the other one.
One possible reason that men do not behave like men anymore is because men have not been taught. Modern society enforces the idea that a ‘real’ man will be interested in sports, be out of touch with his emotions, will have a fondness for beer, illicit sex, and general vulgarity, will be disrespectful towards women and will enjoy every Sunday in front of the T.V. watching football. This image is both sick and disturbing, almost as much as its general acceptance in contemporary culture. In days of yore, masculinity was synonymous not only with physical strength, but also strength of will, spirit, character and heart. However, under the onslaught of social pressure from the media, pop psychology and Feminist criticism, men have backed down from their true role. Tucking their tails between their legs, real men have failed to teach the next generation what it means to be a man. Instead, they have sat back and let the culture raise them. In this, culture has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It expects men to be lazy, selfish, sex-centered and abusive, and so it teaches young adolescent males such values (or lack thereof).
In spite of this, some Feminist’s will defend this by saying that spousal abuse is still an issue, that rape still happens, and that there is still gross inequality in the workplace. These facts are truth. However, breaking men’s kneecaps is not the proper method to get them to rise above what is now expected of them. If change is desired in the system, then it should be espoused. Browbeating does not lead to lasting change; it leads to a shamed face.
Since manhood is in such a dire predicament, the only option available is both idealistic and presumably impossible: Change the media. While this seems like a painfully daunting task, it really is the only solution. Men as a gender are not going to start fulfilling roles that they haven’t been taught about. The media shows us what we want to see. If we want to see change, we need to show our desire to see it, by being the man that they should show. If you are a lady and reading this, then you need to enact change by challenging the stereotype of what a man is, by standing up for yourself and not allowing ‘boys to be boys’, but instead forcing boys to man-up.
this was all written to the lovely sounds of The Album Leaf, a band my loving and lovely sister introduced me to today:
LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteI am proud to be your sister :)
ReplyDeleteWow! I clicked over from your Jessica's blog. Great post! I wholeheartedly agree that while beginnings of feminism were noble and indeed a great idea, it went waaaaaay too far. Not only did feminism cripple the next generation of males, it also crippled the feminine side of being female - such that if you value homemaking and child-rearing you need to defend yourself. Feminism was supposed to be about giving women a choice - to choose to stay at home or work - and yet there's really only one "valid" choice to a feminist - to work.
ReplyDeleteI enjoy this string of comics: http://www.mama-is.com/wasting-my-life-in-conversation/ - there's 4 comics in the series in all :D
I clicked over to read this and sort of agree. I think feminism still has a point and that women are still subject to spousal abuse, rape is still often blamed on the victim (mostly by women in fact according to recent research) and there are still huge inequalities in the work place.
ReplyDeleteI don't feel men-bashing has any part of feminism though. I am lucky to have met and fallen in love with a man in the "old fashioned" sense of the word. He acts with honesty, integrity and kindness and personifies the ideas of what a man should be I gained from my father.
A good example for me is one time when we were walking by the beach, a drunk wandered into our path and he made sure he was between me and the drunk, before helping the ambulance service to find him so that he would not drown or be run over by a nearby train.
But I do think we need more role models who are just honest and kind, hard working, good fathers, good husbands and good brothers/sons. Anyway, I shall stop now before this turns into a full rant but I agree with the main swathe of your argument if I disagree slightly on some detail and think this is really well written. Which is the most part of what I wanted to say.
great post bro:-)
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