i probably redirected my anger at english into this blog post, but i can deal with that because it's 2 am and i still have 6 paragraphs to go.

So, I’m taking a break from my English essay (which is coming along well, I’m just sick of it) to write a blog. As I do not have interwebs on the computer I’m typing this on, this probably will not be posted for a while. But, it will have more capital letters!

On Thursday, basically everyone slacked for youth, so we had some discussion circles, with the topic being the church. As I have strong opinions that I had yet to work out, I didn’t want to dominate the circle with my views as I formulated them orally, so I sat silent and kept the question sheet with this blog in mind.

And now, dear readers, you shall be blessed with the fruits of my procrastination!

1. What is the church?: basic enough question. Basic enough answer: the church is the body/bride of Christ. I was taught a while ago that there are 3 divisions of the church. I can only remember two. Local and universal. Fairly self-explanatory. The local church is the fellowship you have with the believers in your area, at whichever church you attend. The universal church is the collection of all the saints pre, present and post right now.

2. What should the church look like? Not the way it does. We are called to be a light onto the world, yet so often it feels as though we’re only illuminating the corner we reside in. We’ve lost sight of the concept of being ‘in but not of.’ If the church was to become its intention, the world would be radically changed. Imagine what even 25 people setting out into the world, with purely Christ-like intentions, could accomplish. Too often I find myself falling into adherence of the letter of the law, but not the spirit. I won’t discourage someone, but I certainly don’t encourage. I won’t hate someone or show them ill-will, but I wont go out of my way to make their lives easier. In short, I’m usually too proud to wash anyone’s feet. And, a discouraging thing that I have noticed is that a lot of the people who do take that step of servitude often quasi-complain about it behind closed doors. My diagnosis is that the church is ill, but not gravely ill. If it was truly going downhill, we’d all notice and revival would erupt out of desperation. Instead, it functions on a quarter tank and we tell ourselves that it’s fine.

3. What should the church not look like? It’s not that the way it is now is the way it shouldn’t be, it’s that the way it is now is the infantile version of the way it should be. There are a lot of things the church should not look like (coughWestboroughBaptish’church’cough) but I think that right now, the greatest thing to watch out for is insincerity.

4. Did you feel welcomed by your experiences with the church? Yes and no. most churches have those lovely little greeter people who stand at the door with a large, hypnotic smile and practiced lines of mostly-sincere small talk. On the surface, most people in most churches are rather friendly and inviting. However, getting under the surface is a much more difficult process. Acceptance is such a sought-after thing, and it’s heartbreaking that so many youth groups that I have been to have an outcast. Or a few. The person that does not quite fit the standard. And I’ll admit, I’m guilty of this too. I’m really not sure how to change it either. Most people are so involved with the lives they have that they’re not willing to allow another person and another set of problems into their already ‘oh-so-complicated’ lives.

5. How much do you feel you should contribute to making the church what it should be? How? Basically, I should give it my all. I am the church. We are the church. The church as an entity relies on the believers as individuals. The only way I can really make a difference is by being as Christ-esque as possible. And the only way I can be Christ-esque is prayer and supplication.

Back to English.

Song currently playing is

Reveries of Flight

By

Oh, Sleeper

So, I’mma gonna recommend that song as your song for the day.

essays? not happening.

i'm terrible at doing homework. i actually want to do it, cuz i think this essay will turn out well and won't just be a hunk of 'must do this for marks'.

however, i have no work ethic..

so, i thought i'd writea blog about a little band my drummer recently showed me called Oh, Sleeper.

Oh, Sleeper is, under my definition, a technical hardcore band. some people call them metalcore, but they seem a bit too heavy and more intelligent than most metalcore.

musically, they're not that exciting (breakdowns and riffs can only go so far) but lyrically, they're freaking gorgeous.

not even simply gorgeous, they're also imaginative, provocative and risqué in a religious fashion.

their first full length, entitled When I Am God, is a concept album with a bunch of lines written from the perspective of God. presumptuous, but so well executed.

lyrics from "Charlatans Host"

What happens when I turn and run again? And again, and again?
"I will forgive you."
And what happens when I lie to your face?
"I will forgive you."
Oh my God, I can be so defiant to some one who's arms stretch to me.
"I will forgive."
Don't give up on me! Don't give up on me!
"I have forgiven you!"

it's such a perfect picture of the forgiving nature. while some more fundamentalist people might abhor this for some well-rationalized reason, i'd throw up a rob bell quote and say that "God has spoken, and the rest is all commentary."

of course, a fundamentalist probably won't be satiated by rob bell.

moving on.

Oh, Sleeper got even risker on their second LP, where they occasionally assume the viewpoint of Satan. the aptly titled "son of the morning's title track contains these lines:

Every night I start my rise, climbing high into the morning sky,
but soon after I lose your bride and I damn Your Son for stealing my light.
This world is mine...
They call me the son of the morning.
I can mound all your fallen past the clouds as they roll in,
and when I do I will claim your throne through all these cowards you call your sons.
I am the lord of air and my dawn will last forever.
Go on pouring out because in the end I will have them.
"If you could see like Me you'd see you haven't won anything..
If you could see like Me you'd see, it's by My grace that you're breathing."

it's such an interesting idea and gives such an awesome perspective to, well, everything.

i think we often forget the whole 'roaring lion, seeking to devour' stuff, because it's easier to fake a full existence when there is no enemy aside from ourselves.

back to basics, part 4

one of my friends spoke this week at youth about encouraging/discouraging words.

i know right? sounds like veggie tales.

surprisingly though, it was excellent. (surprising because this was her first time speaking solo at youth, and also because it seemed like a rather tired topic.)

but i've been thinking about the idea a lot lately. words carry a friggin ton of meaning.

of course, me being the sarcastic cutie pie that i am, i often abuse words for a sardonic hit of humour.

retrospectively though, sarcasm probably isnt the best base setting to have. while i'm not really concerned about offending people (if sarcasm actually upsets you, then i have a letter for you. it goes like this:

dear you.

grow up.

much love.)

i'm more worried about how it will shape my view. or something like that.

anyways.

i've heard a few people say things like 'i want to say 5 nice things a day' or something like that. admirable, but i'd rather go more for 'if i see something nice worth pointing out, i will.'

it seems more sincere.

oh wait, it is.

.. anyways

words permeate society. but unlike a lot of other things that are everywhere, words dont lose their effectiveness just because they're exploited. we just dont notice how effective they are. which is dangerous.

i had some other mental point about how the modern church sucks, and i was going to tie it all together beautifully with a wonderful flourish and leave you thinking long into the night, but for now you're just going to have to imagine i did that.

song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f70H5tXyZXE

timothy haye by mewithoutyou.

just because it was playing while i cleaned my room and i like it when aaron echoes 'hey'

if i didnt have better things to do, i would never update this blog.

i'm a bit of a prat. lie. i am mostly made of prat.

however, i am a fairly self-controlled prat. the majority of my more nasty responses are fairly well subdued, but lately, they've been even closer to spilling out of my mouth.

i was a bit curious as to why, but then it occured to me: i havent done devotionals in quite a while. it's weird how affected i become when i'm away from scripture. i enjoy living in the delusion that i'm a nice guy, but really, i'm absolutely horrendous.

being away from devotions has made me degenerate quite a bit as a person. as interesting as it is, i do think it should stop.

so, if i've been overly harsh to anyone.

well, i guess they arent reading this. since, as far as i know, 4 people do.

but, i do need to adjust my views of people.

moral of the story: do devotions or be a douchebag.

song:

wylie-maylene and the sons of disaster

I'VE CAUGHT THE SICKNESS ONCE AGAIN!

...

The older I am the less feeling I have
Without the gospel losing the truth, I'm losing the truth

a tissue will not help

i am not a complicated person. that is an outright lie. but at the same time, it's a blatant truth.
anyways,
i hate school.
shocker.
an 18 year old male hates school? who wouldve thunk it! but seriously now.
i hate it for atypical reasons.
i dont think it's 'gay' or 'stupid'. i hate it because it's failing.
i think school should have two or three main goals (i say two or three because i have yet to figure out what i think on this matter, and i'm far too lazy to edit something as worthless as a blog post.) now then, school should set out to accomplish these basic things:
1) teach students facts.
this is obvious. and it is obviously not working. i am certain that if a i met a teenager from 50 years ago, they would have quite a bit more relevant raw data at the tip of their tongue as opposed to know-a-days. of course, that data might be wrong and irrelevant in the modern world, but they would still have more of it. which means that we should be teaching students more (presumably) correct facts today. of course, we aren't. we might be trying to, but eavesdrop on one average student/teacher conversation, and i swear you'll think they both have brain damage.
2) train students.
i'm serious. we should be forced to do things we dont want to do. high school is INSANELY easy. there is actually no reason why the average person should fail. (yes, average is a lie, but you get the point.) we have no accountability, no consequences. i have outright refused to do culminating projects, and i still have an above 80 average. i have no reason to try, because i have no reason not to. teenagers are stupid. we need carrots and sticks. but not just any sticks. we need large, sharp, poison, pointy sticks. we should use the vegetable and tree piece to train students to have work ethic, or gumption, or something. my high school is filled with people that are dead on every level except a drug level. and i'm not even sure if that is a level.
3) make us use our knowledge.
if you havent noticed, my blog posts are filled with lowercase letters. this is because i am lazy. i have no reason to care. no one is going to judge me in society because 'i' isnt 'I'.
heck, no one is really going to care that this entire post has gone completely off kilter and is now focusing on my grievances with society, not just the schooling system.
whatever.

it's 11:20 and i have homework to do. this homework was due 3rd period today, but because of the disgustingly easy system i'm in, i could hand this in at the end of the term and probably still get marks.
i'm not sure about you, but this disgusts me.
but, i dont care enough to change it. it's a cycle.

meh.

song:
solidarity
by
enter shikari

and now the floodgates will open.